Stan and Jack come on foot alongside the bus to its front, and Inspector Blake comes out from his office to meet them arriving.
Blakey: Butler, where've you been? 10 minutes ago you should've been here and got that bus aht. You know Butler, I been praying that you would, just one day, just one day Butler, get that bus aht on time.
Stan: Well you ain't goin' to get your prayers answered this time, Blakey.
Blakey: Look Butler, it's not beyond the wit of even you to drive this bus aht through there and, what's more, just one day, before you die, do it on time!
Jack: 'Fraid not [opening his trade union rule book]. We can't go out in that. You see, it says 'ere, the members here cannot be expected to carry out orders from the management that offend members of the travelling public.
Blakey: Members of the travelling public? I know your driving, Butler, offends members of the travelling public, but it's never been a reason for you not to take the bus aht at all. What are you goin' on abaht?
Stan: That - up there. [Points to slogan on the side of the bus: 'THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.']
Blakey: That's no reason not to get the bus aht! You get that bus OUT Butler, and you get on the back and start taking some fares. Look the public probably agree with that anyway. It's not offending anyone.
Stan: This bus goes to the cemetery gates.
Blakey: What's that got to do with it?
Jack: It offends them.
Blakey: It offends them? Oo?
Jack: Them lot in that cemetery.
Blakey: In the cemetery? Behind the cemetery gates? They're dead! I know you might not be able to tell the difference Butler, the way your passengers end up, but them in that cemetery they ain't goin' be offended by any notice on the sides o' these buses.
Stan: It means they're not going to 'eaven, doan it Jack.
Jack: And that offends the members of the travelling public.
Blakey: Travelling public? Yuh. I suppose that's ow you see it. Yuh, I suppose they are in your eyes. The average speed you go, I bet they get wherever you're going first. Well let me tell you, you get that bus aht now - the pair o' yeh - or you won't have any pension coming to get a gravestone between yeh behind them cemetery gates; so you just get that bus there an' sharpish.
Stan: Oh come on Jack, we'd better, or he'll go on like this and ah'll end up there earlier than I should from all the stress he causes. I get enough from Olive an' Arthur.
Jack: OK Stan, only PROBABLY get there earlier though.
Stan: Yeh. Aye. Tell you what, Blakey. Nah, you stop worrying and enjoy your life. Like it says up there, like Jack and me try to do.
Blakey: I 'ate you Butler.
Progress of equal marriage bill deepens challenge to the Church - The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill was given a third reading in the House of Commons yesterday by 366 to 161, a majority of 205. On the Conservative benc...