Friday, 27 November 2009

Mother

My mother died today at just before ten to six in the evening. She was 85 and had suffered from dementia for some years. I was called to Clowne when a doctor visiting just after midday identified pneumonia and a collapsed lung. She was breathing with effort and regularly. When I addressed her directly, she gave an exaggerated movement. My sister, niece and myself were there, my sister's husband for a time who had met me at the house and shown me the way to the residential home. The three of us who had sat there for some hours wondered what we might do - I would say my goodbye, and then I said (long before I might actually leave) that I would go to the toilet after all. At this point my mother's breathing simply stopped, and I noticed this instantly. She then did a kind of choking cough, which I took as her resuming, but it was just a bodily reaction. She had simply stopped. We heard how her spreading cancer had never given any sign of pain. She simply stopped while we were there.

13 comments:

desertcat said...

May she rest in peace and rise in glory and may you and your family feel God's comfort. You are all in my prayers.

Kallenavn: Unitarknut said...

So sad to learn this. My condolences.

hugh said...

My sincere condolences on you're loss Adrian . It's hard to know what to say on these occasions . I have been spared such things up to now , but it's only a matter of time . Once again my thoughts are with you .


Regards .


.

Pluralist (Adrian Worsfold) said...

Many thanks to all.

ginny s. said...

Adrian, I'm so sorry for your loss. Dementia makes for such loneliness, both for the person trapped in it and for the family outside that reality. I'm glad that you and others were able to be present at the time of your mother's passing. May God comfort you and your family.

Mary Clara said...

I am so sorry, Adrian. There is a particular sorrow in losing a parent who has already been partially or effectively 'gone' for a long time due to dementia. May angels guide her to her rest, and bear you up in spirit.

David |Dah • veed| said...

I am sorry for your loss.

Fred Schwartz said...

Adian,

What a loss! My deepest condolences on this highly personal and incredibly significant loss. Mothers are simply irreplacable. My prayers are with you this day and more!

Robin said...

Condolences. May she rest in peace.

Iconoclast said...

I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss of your mother who gave you birth. My thoughts are with you.

Iconoclast

Pluralist (Adrian Worsfold) said...

Thanks again. One comment came in symbols that were unreadable so I've had to reject that one.

I shall be taking the funeral on 9 December.

JayV said...

Whether expected or not, the loss of a parent is still a shock. I wish you and your family courage and strength in the days ahead.

Chris said...

I was sad to read of your loss. Please accept my heartfelt condolences.