If you don't want to read my effort at a magazine, read my latest poems:
My throat did burn
With phlegm and roar
As I went down
To Flamborough -
To breath fresh air
(And ions the key)
And get all fresh
Into the sea.
But then with towel
It was like a breeze -
I began to shudder
And I started to freeze.
And before I knew it,
With a pain in my head,
I keeled over plainly
And then I was dead.
And yet as if
To continue for more,
It's odd what happens
The tides they do remove the dead:
A transformation ahead instead.
See, the boulder clay is so full of nutrition
That in suspension it makes all addition.
So a body, yes human, even one that had died
Is made in the richness to recover, revive;
The later tide, then, returned me with love
And left me resting inside a cove.
I awoke somewhat puzzled about how I'd arrived,
But returned to the beach, simply revived.
And yes, of course, I was so glad:
Glad to be so fully alive.
We took a day trip to Hornsea:
It was so early in the morn, see;
And in the car played some James Blunt -
Kept us happy up to the sea front,
Took less than half hour to get there.
And all the people? Nowhere!
And what were we to do, after looking at some ships
On the horizon?
Go and get some fish and chips, son:
Can't keep eating them or would get the shits, mum!
But then to me, said Denny,
"I'm going to spend a penny."
Like toilets she choose hence?
No, she meant the amusements.
At the penny falls she with me joins,
And true to say we won some coins;
And off we went with smiles that did beam,
To see a van and buy some ice cream.
But on the beach only some people old,
For with the east wind it was too cold.
So we called it a day and went for a beer,
And then went inland and looked at the Mere;
The wind whipped up and the water was slopping,
So it was off to the Freeport and we did some shopping.
So what else to do when we'd spent to the bone?
We got in the car and damn well went home.
And so we enjoyed some more of James Blunt
That continued until a rear end shunt:
The breakdown came as slow as a mouse
And took us to arrive late back at our house.
We once took a trip to Withernsea
Which some will call 'Witherensea'.
Arrived a man from the telly
Who said it is smelly
Yes, it's a given, see,
And smothering, it be
Interviewing were we:
Thank you ITV - in full,
Watched when we got back to Hull.
We started out from Brough,
The dog, and me, and my bruv;
We had a day at Aldbrough,
And the dog went Grrr
('Cause there's no uff
If you don't say it wrong.)
But there's rough in Brough's dosh
Where the people go posh;
But for Aldbrough I'd hint
The folk are quite skint
And down to earth like me,
(Or more down to the sea):
Unless they go west
And settle like pests
Who whine and huff
When they reside in Brough
(As did bruv
When he found his love).
Oh they complain and ring
As they go all right wing,
Unlike them in Aldbrough
Who might still vote Labour,
Or like the last cat
Vote Lib Democrat,
Eating its Kipper
Now Going UKIPper.
Compare Brough's Henry Hoorays
Being a bunch of convert Tories -
As a too-high shelf!
Though, I bet my right slipper
That he too goes UKIPper,
Because in the fascination
He lacks imagination
As all that turn toff
When they go live in Brough.