Sunday 22 July 2007

Church of England Job Interview

Here is a job interview in the Church of England for a lay post.

Bishop: You are recommended as the best candidate. We have a published policy of non-discrimination. Are you gay?
Candidate: Yes I am, but I haven't got a relationship.
Bishop: Have you had a relationship?
Candidate: Yes, but there is not one now and I would not have one during this job.
Bishop: But what if someone was to come along?
Candidate: I would see you first.
Bishop: Well we can't employ you then. This job "promotes religion". We might then have to give it to someone else.
Candidate: I didn't say I would enter into a relationship.
Bishop: Yes but you did have one, and given the emotional state that relationship generated you might want another for that feeling again.
Candidate: Anyway I am telling you the situation now and what I intend. I would see you; I might one day have a Civil Partnership.
Bishop: Sexual relationships can only happen in marriage.
Candidate: I cannot marry. Therefore you are saying I cannot have this job because of what I might do. You have discriminated against me.
Bishop: We welcome everyone; I congratulated the organist on his Civil Partnership.
Candidate: Isn't he promoting religion?
Bishop: No it only applies to very few jobs. He just plays the tunes.

Candidate: Basically, you do not believe me; you would never accept that I could be in a faithful relationship and do this job.

First (more likely) result: After the Hereford Diocesan Board of Finance (Bishop Priddis) - John Reaney case, the Church of England is fined for the umpteenth time because it cannot understand that what matters is honesty and faithfulness, which is the test for any relationship, and one test for many.

Second (hopefully less likely) result: Church of England employs private detectives investigating the sex lives of homosexuals and heterosexuals (active terminology: "homofiles" and "heterofiles" used in the actual Cardiff located Tribunal) in order to appear to be non-discriminatory, to actually lose people of talent, and wish to save some money in the courts.

No comments: