Me and my mate, see, we got a new job. After all, this retailer wants the cream, no less, people who do six months in store and six out of store, you know; I could have gone to the roll back one, Asda, but we don't care for that Walmart do we and their employing people. 
Cos, I said to my mate, you shop here and I think about it, like, and they want the cream, and there's no more promotion with my old employer, like I mean there's only so many top jobs and they're all taken and will be and this mate of mine wasn't interested in all that apostolic stuff. So I said to my mate you apply as well. He was part of that other old firm, you know, Marks and Sparks, which I and my old firm used to be like a bit, and yet my mate said he shopped at Aldi and Lidl. He said long ago he started his own branch of his shop just by sitting down and telling stories to people of low prices and offering tasty fish and bread, and yet after he moved on this chap called Paul took over the firm and refitted the shop and it was all a bit Greek. And after what Paul did, you had to wear a suit and a pair of boots to shop in Marks and Sparks (Rome Division) like you still do but in my new firm and now his we don't care what the customers wear but the boss said to him you'll have to change your sandals for some shoes, you know, and polish them for the customers even if they can be a bit poor and have holes in their own. Oh and get your 'air cut a bit. Mine's well cropped. You notice the difference, don't you, when my new firm is adding extensions to the shops and the old one has the bloody roof falling in and a big thermometer outside. The old firm just didn't attract the custom, and we just didn't stock up right there with the right stuff. And let's face it, my new employer in some town centres checks whether cars are over the white lines or there too long, like, and people leaving the car park for other places, and you don't get that crush in the Church of England, at least not unless it's one of those evangelical suburban outfits where people come in big cars over loads of parish boundaries, but then they are more like huge Tescos anyway, or Sainsburys if they're really posh, with added muzak. It's not like that here, oh no, where we have our assistants on just a few checkouts shoving the produce through - once we start doing the old bleep bleep it's like how 
fast can you shove the stuff at the customer who rushes to get them in those plastic baskets we sell once a year (don't bring them in when we're selling them!) though most customers do use our trolleys and you can throw the stuff in them at high speed. The fact is that with my old employer people kept their wallets and purses shut and they used to hang about afterwards and of course you get a better quality of bread and wine than I had with my old employer. 'Ave you tasted them discs? And what is that wine they have? But I got no management points for suggesting having a Back to Our Shop Tuesday which is like we had a back to church Sunday, because of course people get attracted by the product range and prices and not just some appeal to turn up when it's the same old stuff, and we started opening on Sunday after Lidl did which meant fewer still go to the old firm. So yeah I've stopped Reading now. And it was nice in the old firm to have a bit of space and a chat. Can't do that now, not really. Too busy.
Cos, I said to my mate, you shop here and I think about it, like, and they want the cream, and there's no more promotion with my old employer, like I mean there's only so many top jobs and they're all taken and will be and this mate of mine wasn't interested in all that apostolic stuff. So I said to my mate you apply as well. He was part of that other old firm, you know, Marks and Sparks, which I and my old firm used to be like a bit, and yet my mate said he shopped at Aldi and Lidl. He said long ago he started his own branch of his shop just by sitting down and telling stories to people of low prices and offering tasty fish and bread, and yet after he moved on this chap called Paul took over the firm and refitted the shop and it was all a bit Greek. And after what Paul did, you had to wear a suit and a pair of boots to shop in Marks and Sparks (Rome Division) like you still do but in my new firm and now his we don't care what the customers wear but the boss said to him you'll have to change your sandals for some shoes, you know, and polish them for the customers even if they can be a bit poor and have holes in their own. Oh and get your 'air cut a bit. Mine's well cropped. You notice the difference, don't you, when my new firm is adding extensions to the shops and the old one has the bloody roof falling in and a big thermometer outside. The old firm just didn't attract the custom, and we just didn't stock up right there with the right stuff. And let's face it, my new employer in some town centres checks whether cars are over the white lines or there too long, like, and people leaving the car park for other places, and you don't get that crush in the Church of England, at least not unless it's one of those evangelical suburban outfits where people come in big cars over loads of parish boundaries, but then they are more like huge Tescos anyway, or Sainsburys if they're really posh, with added muzak. It's not like that here, oh no, where we have our assistants on just a few checkouts shoving the produce through - once we start doing the old bleep bleep it's like how 
fast can you shove the stuff at the customer who rushes to get them in those plastic baskets we sell once a year (don't bring them in when we're selling them!) though most customers do use our trolleys and you can throw the stuff in them at high speed. The fact is that with my old employer people kept their wallets and purses shut and they used to hang about afterwards and of course you get a better quality of bread and wine than I had with my old employer. 'Ave you tasted them discs? And what is that wine they have? But I got no management points for suggesting having a Back to Our Shop Tuesday which is like we had a back to church Sunday, because of course people get attracted by the product range and prices and not just some appeal to turn up when it's the same old stuff, and we started opening on Sunday after Lidl did which meant fewer still go to the old firm. So yeah I've stopped Reading now. And it was nice in the old firm to have a bit of space and a chat. Can't do that now, not really. Too busy.
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