The Symbolism of Rings and Hands

Social anthropologists report the practice in many societies: that someone gives someone else a token, and the token is either given away in a long chain or a token given to the giver. By this act, of which there is some material loss (the original acquisition, the effort to be there and do it), a spiritual gift is generated with an effect of binding one to the other. Thus religions and societies act symbolically.

Two examples are the Eucharist in Christianity and the exchanging of gifts in a wedding (where also the touch of hands is crucial). Both of these acts happened in the partnership binding that took place at the Priory Church of St Bartholomew the Great (the oldest church in London), at Smithfield in the City of London, conducted by the parish rector, the Rev Martin Dudley, for the binding of Rev Peter Cowell and the Rev Dr David Lord (who had previously registered their civil partnership before the ceremony). It was conducted in a grand and Anglo-Catholic style.

This was the essential part of the liturgy, taken mainly from the Book of Common Prayer, but with some necessary changes for the gay binding:

The Revd Peter Cowell, Priest:

Peter, Wilt thou takethis man as thy partner, in the sight of God? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall love?

Peter shall answer, I will.

David, Wilt thou take this man as thy partner, in the sight of God? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall love?

David shall answer, I will.

Priest: As David and Peter's family in Christ, will you share their joys, help them to bear their burdens, and do all in your power to uphold them in their Covenant?

People: we will

Then shall they give their troth to each other in this manner: the Priest shall cause Peter to take David by the right hand and to say after him as followeth:

I Peter take thee David as my partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, and thereto I pledge thee my troth.

Then shall they loose their hands; and David, with his right hand taking Peter his right hand, shall likewise say after the Priest:

I David take thee Peter as my partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, and thereto I pledge thee my troth.

Then shall they again loose their hands; and Peter shall give unto David a Ring. Mr Carlton Evans having protected said ring and laying the same upon the book with the accustomed duty to the Priest. The Priest, taking the Ring, shall deliver it unto David, to put it upon the fourth finger of Peter's left hand. And David holding the Ring there, and led by the Priest, shall say:

With this ring, I thee bind, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Then shall they again loose their hands; and David shall give unto Peter a Ring: Mr David Lawrence having protected said ring and laying the same upon the book with the accustomed duty to the Priest. The Priest, taking the Ring, shall deliver it unto David, to put it upon the fourth finger of Peter's left hand. And David holding the Ring there, and led by the Priest, shall say:

With this ring, I thee bind, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen

Let us pray.

Eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Given of all spiritual grace, the author of everlasting life: Send thy blessing upon these servants, whom we bless in thy name; that, as David and Jonathan's souls were knit together, so these men shall surely perform and keep the vow and covenant betwixt them made, whereof these rings given and received are a token and pledge, and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and love according to they laws; protect them from all trouble and danger, and bring then, with us, to the heavenly feast of your eternal kingdom; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Then shall the Minister speak unto the people.

Forasmuch as David and Peter have consented together in a holy covenant, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have given and pledged their truth either to other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving of a ring, and by joining of hands, I pronounce that they be bound together, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

The minister continues.

GOD the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favour look upon you; and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. Amen.

Peter then recites a poem to David: Sonnet 116 William Shakespeare

David then recites a poem to Peter: My true love hath thy heart. Philip Sydney.

Song of Celebration: 'The Alleluia' from Exultate Jubilate by W. A. Mozart.

[On to the Eucharist]

A champagne reception followed at the Great Hall of St. Bartholomew's Hospital (Rev. David Lord works there). That's important too! Thus the service brought The Book of Common Prayer into use for this celebration. I think it is rather well done. Personally I enjoy making and remaking liturgies and trying to follow their principles. Here, of course, is the other technique of the spiritual: to use a deliberately ancient form of language to give authority, legitimacy and a sense of the sacred to what would otherwise be a mundane act. Of course the legal partnership had already taken place: this was a blessing, but a pioneering one in that it used so closely the text of marriage.

Best wishes to the couple: whatever the State says and whatever the Church says, they are as bound as a married couple by these legal and symbolic acts.