Monday, 3 August 2009

Revised Anglican Songs

The Gospel According to Archbishop

Yet more sincere apologies to David Bowie and his The Gospel According to Tony Day.

The Gospel according to Johnny Sax:
The Gospel according to Johnny Sax:
The Gospel according to Johnny Sax:
If we find a catch he'll damp down facts;
Quiet Johnny!

The Gospel according to Bishop N. T.:
The Gospel according to Bishop N. T.:
The Gospel according to Bishop N. T.:
If Archbishop does write, he'll say get past me;
Aggression, friends.

The Gospel according to Archbishop:
The Gospel according to Archbishop:
The Gospel according to Archbishop:
If it prevents bureaucracy then let's do not unchop it;
Ah!
Let's do, must do.

My mind, blown it!
Blown it!

The Gospel according to these English rants:
Stop the gays for the Covenant.
Good old Archbishop, who needs friends, oh.

That's the policy; take a look at my life and you'll see;
Read it now! Observe! Yes for Mary devotion!
Wouldn't retain a glance for them.


Exclude the Gays

Yet even more sincere apologies to David Bowie who wrote Under The God. Tin Machine performed it.

Praying back at the chapel,
Bishops going to church,
Beating on gays with a crooked stick:
Gay exclusion lurch.

N. T. raise up communion,
With Archbishop, there is war.
This in the West, get used to it?
They think it's a cross over the door.

Exclude the gays,
Exclude the gays,
One step more for Covenant;
Exclude the gays,
Exclude the gays,
Thirty-nine and then this crazy.

Episcopal heads in the deepest sand,
Don't see it amounts to hate;
Right wing dicks in their collared robes,
Picking out who to annihilate.

Toxic writings of fundy trails;
Society just no more is here!
Fascist flare is bishop's cool;
Well, you're dead - you're just not retired (yet).

Exclude the gays,
Exclude the gays,
One step more for Covenant;
Exclude the gays,
Exclude the gays,
Thirty-nine and then this crazy.

As the Church now tumbles down,
So, the secrets you preserved -
You staying behind your palace gates,
All the truth is now observed.

Exclude the gays:
Crazy eyed men with their croziers,
Hot-headed creeps with their pens,
Love and peace and harmony?
Love you could not get from them.

Exclude the gays,
Exclude the gays,
One step more for Covenant;
Exclude the gays,
Exclude the gays,
Thirty-nine and then this crazy.

4 comments:

Brad said...

Why do you waste your time with religion?
It's irrational and statistically has been shown to have a negative effect on your morals.
Please, find something else to do with your time.

Pluralist (Adrian Worsfold) said...

Statistically shown? Not all religion. A lot of it, however, and many religionists including those featured and at this point I want to target them.

Father David Heron said...

I have recently been "targeted" by ex-gay Peter Ould who has threatened me with litigation for making fun of him."Excluding the gays" makes for a good song. But laughing at the "ex-gays" on one's blog is deemed libellous.

Pluralist (Adrian Worsfold) said...

It must be very touchy being 'ex-gay'. He once took exception when I bracketed some thought of his as 'ex-gay' and so I pointed out why it was so bracketed in my opinion. Also he accused me once of not reading 'your Bible' properly, as if there is such a thing.

I wouldn't poke fun at him only for reasons of insignificance. There is also, I think, a sadness about the ex-gay position, that it possesses what it is trying to deny. The point about the Archbishop's recent communication is that it is intended to be significant, as is Bishop Tom's weighing in. They are innovating Anglicanism and could destroy it as it is known. The important thing about fun is that it should also be reasonable comment, so that if they want to send a legal cease and desist type thing, it can be defended as a form of reasonable comment.

The origin of using David Bowie's songs is obviously the Major Tom bit and that 'Archbishop' fits 'Ground Control'. The rest follow on. Even songs with Gospel and Under God. Bowie might not like his songs so reused, on the other hand he might agree with the intention within the small circle of Anglicans. I've two more I might do, but by then for sure I'll have made my point.

By the way, I didn't realise how inventive the original 'Space Oddity' (1969) is and indeed how Bowie uses some esoteric and magickal aspects in his songs, but you learn something every day.