Monday, 25 July 2011

New Strange Art Installation Clergy Protests

This article was in Yr Undodaidd in the 'Across the Mainstream' section. It details the strange Church protests taking place in Wales.

In a development from the 'scissors and fire' story of Rev Sticciet ap Iors, another Welsh clergyman, Rev Morgan Maeiobswerth, has made his own protest by knocking down an external wall of his church. The reverends have adjacent parishes and attend the same Deanery Synod; indeed some say they are often the only people there. Just as Rev. ap Iors claimed that the God of the King James Bible was appalling and should be put on trial, so the Rev. Maeiobswerth said he was pointing out out the dreadful history of the Church down the ages.

The Rev Morgan Maeiobswerth said that he wants to demonstrate a much more open church. The stones and flying buttresses will soon become natural sculptures in the graveyard, for which he is seeking a faculty. Parishioners there also showed approval saying, "We want the church to me more open to the young people but it does get a bit drafty these days. Oh and the roof is making creaking noises."

There are further suggestions also that this bizarre behaviour is catching, with reports that the Rev. Nia Noeth of Pen yr Ynys is going to baptise herself with a bucket of ice cold water for ten Sundays in a row. Wearing just a simple white garment the dowsings will go towards a video art installation. The actions are to be in protest at having no women bishops in her church. "We women are near nearly naked now then," she said in a sermon after which rumours of her protest started to circulate, especially as she also said that " is time we showed and up the matter." [Translated from English into Welsh into English again, from the original Welsh] The priest in charge says that she is also fed up with receiving mail for Penis Land, the partly Anglicised name for her promontory and the reason that, now, all her sermons are delivered in Welsh.

According to her parish magazine, another colleague, the Rev. Ruth Coginio, may consider dropping the name of Jesus during her sermons and instead replacing his name with types of cheeses instead, according to what Jesus is doing. "The knowledge of Jesus is lamentable," she wrote (in English), "as no one goes to Sunday School any more and few attend church, and yet everyone watches cookery programmes on television. We may as well say cheeses as Jesus." So, she goes on to explain, "If Jesus is walking he becomes Cheddar, like someone walking through a gorge or on a lake. If he is angry, he is Edam, and if he performs a miracle like feeding the five thousand he becomes grated cheeses." Later in the article she describes her action as "theologically modalist".

As reported last month, the originator of these odd behaviours, Sticciet ap Iors had taken a pair of scissors and cut the nasty bits out of the Bible and then folded them up to make an imitation to scale Wicker Man, and then he burned the product of his labours in front of a video camera and posted on You Tube. Apparently the art work protest had the full support of the attending parishioners, although one or two mistakingly saw it as a protest against higher fuel bills.

One better informed lay person said, "The wicker man represented the transience of any life and the demand in the Old Testament for sacrifices."

His Bishop of all four ministers, the Rt. Rev. Neil Down said to me (using Welsh and English), "It could be you know that our selection conferences are not quite working, but I'm more immediately worried about the artistic merit of all these protests, isn't it, and frankly with falling attendances I'm also worried about the occupational health and wellbeing of our priests. They are starting to react violently to their difficult situations, perhaps through neglect, the Te Deum and boredom. I am suggesting opening a room in my palace bach filled with balloons, which frustrated clergy can enter and then jump up and down. I might video this and put it on You Tube myself you know."

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