Friday 15 October 2010

I Ask You

Lara Crofter: Dr Rowan Treetri, Archbishop of Anglicanism, welcome again to our Radio Chadderbox station on the line from London.

Rowan Treetri:
What is this to ask me for?

Lara Crofter: About the latest happenings regarding your General Secretary and the Anglican Communion.

Rowan Treetri: Ah, I ask you for.

Lara Crofter: Pardon?

Rowan Treetri: I ask you for.

Lara Crofter: For what? What are you on about?

Rowan Treetri: About discussions pertaining to ecumenical matters.

Lara Crofter: Why are you asking me?

Rowan Treetri: I am not asking you.

Lara Crofter: So what are you on about?

Rowan Treetri: I ask you for.

Lara Crofter: But I ask you.

Rowan Treetri: Ask me then.

Lara Crofter: Well what about discussions er pertaining to ecumenical matters then?

Rowan Treetri: It's based around, well, what, I ask you for.

Lara Crofter: Are you asking me for something?

Rowan Treetri: No. You were asking me. I am answering.

Lara Crofter: Perhaps if John Sendmehome were here, your Archbishop of the North, he would make more sense. I'm surprised he's not invited himself.

Rowan Treetri: Well I can tell you one of his jokes.

Lara Crofter: Don't bother. Suppose I ask it then. I ask you for what has happened?

Rowan Treetri: Well both the Standing Committee and I ask you for, humm, obeying the moratoria.

Lara Crofter: Why is that body and you asking me to obey a moratoria. Are there questions I should not ask?

Rowan Treetri: Anglican provinces. No, you can ask any question you like. Although I must point out that I have a very limited amount of time.

Lara Crofter: How do Anglican provinces ask questions?

Rowan Treetri: They ask about procedures relating to behaviours, whether it is the consecration of a gay partnered bishop as in the United States or the Southern Cone selling its wares so to speak outside its area.

Lara Crofter: How does an ice cream sell itself?

Rowan Treetri: No it is about what I am saying, I ask you for.

Lara Crofter: What you are asking me for a 99, say, the sort with a bit of a chocolate stick in it?

Rowan Treetri: No the General Secretary has dealt with the Southern Cone. I wanted to balance things out a bit.

Lara Crofter: So your General Secretary asked for a southern cone?

Rowan Treetri: Well he asked the Southern Cone at first but now a decision has been made.

Lara Crofter: He did ask - oh then you gave him one. You don't sell ice creams.

Rowan Treetri: I might be better off if I did. I understand there is a Lambeth Walk franchise for sale; it was only in the local paper the other day. I read the local paper to keep me sane. I'm not staying in this job forever, you know.

Lara Crofter: What are you asking for?

Rowan Treetri: I'm asking that they do not cross boundaries: an Anglican Church going into another's territory, and they cannot themselves decide which is a legitimate Anglican Church or not.

Lara Crofter: Why not?

Rowan Treetri: Because that is a job for I ask you for as well as the Standing Committee.

Lara Crofter: I don't know anything about selling ice cream. Oh, do you want to be a Church DJ? I can tell you about these sorts of jobs. Well here or in Hospital Radio.

Rowan Treetri: No no, what I have been telling you about: what is about I ask you for.

Lara Crofter: Have you told me?

Rowan Treetri: Yes.

Lara Crofter: Oh right. Well thank you Archbishop for coming on the telephone.

Rowan Treetri: And thank you for coming on the telephone.

Lara Crofter: I'll wait until I get home if you don't mind.

Rowan Treetri: You understand I-AS-CU-FO?

Lara Crofter: Well, cheeky, you're not asking me for that. Naughty Archbishop! George Hudson, get me out of here!

George Hudson: Well I'm at Hull Paragon so there is the next train, but it'll be going on wet rails this afternoon.

Lara Crofter: We have someone on the phone. Who is it?

Lynn Shea-Doyle: It's Lynn, Reverend Lynn.

Lara Crofter: Hello Reverend Lynn Shea-Doyle.

Lynn Shea-Doyle: It's the Inter-Anglican Standing Commission on Unity, Faith and Order.

Lara Crofter: What is?

Lynn Shea-Doyle: I AS CU FO.

Lara Crofter: What are you asking me for? Hang on, that's the dialling tone. Lynn?

1 comment:

June Butler said...

You had me there, Adrian - thoroughly confused - which is usually the way it goes for me with Rowan Treetri.