Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Just Checking

I'm just checking if I suffer from a few conditions, outlined by ...

Purple shirted flatulence. Now I know I suffer from flatulence, but the purple shirted variety is clearly reserved for those who like a splash of colour, and I am a very dull boy. Oh, and farting bishops.

Cowardice. Guilty as charged.

Black and white issue. Well this is a delicate matter, because there are several issues coming from my body, but none are black, or white, or black and white. The latest issue is due out this evening. I am related to the zebra but have no identifying marks.

Dialogue is a drug which, when taken in excess, leaves one anaemic. Yes, I suffer from a lack of energy and it comes from listening and talking too much. I remember my mother saying, "When's tha' goin 't'get iron?"

Dialogue is also a tranquilliser. ZZZZzzzzzzzz

Misrepresentation. I try to avoid this, unlike the Church of England on Darwin and the Jamaican Gleaner when it comes up with this rubbish:

At this time of writing, the name of the Rev Jeffrey John, a practising homosexual, is being called as the next Bishop of Bangor in Wales. Is his appointment going to go ahead and then we will all have more dialogue?

(That's top level up to date journalism for September 14, 2008.)

If you love your people you will discipline them. I do tend to self-flagellate.

To refuse to accept the authority of the Bible is to be in rebellion. I know: I just cannot help looking at the Bible using critical methods!

Cuddle rebellion. My teddy, inherited from my sister, was called Warwick (pron. War-Wick and not Warrick)

The Anglican bishopric a fellowship of wimps. Which bishopric is that then? Is that wimp or limp? I am a bit limp, you know, but I am wimpish too - I am not a man's man. Should it not read: The Anglican Communion a fellowship of wimprics?

Aye: my wimpric. Just checking on my condition.

When is the Jamaica Gleaner going to change that G for a C? Then it could use its rag for a more meaningful purpose.

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