Wednesday 1 June 2011

The 'Ed Bishop Gets His Way

The 'Ed Bishop had made it very clear, and we don't want him to get angry do we, that there is to be only my presentation about the Anglican Covenant, that document from outer space, and I am, surprise surprise, going to recommend it to you. Now I know you over there are considering voting against, so, er, Archcaptain Scarlet can get one of his Interceptors and take you out to our urinals where something jolly strange can happen, and you might find a Skydiver underwater, to be followed up with something known as a Yorkie - whispers and innuendo. So why do we want this thing? Well, because he says we do, because the 'Ed Bishop himself says that if we bring all our troubles to the centre then we can process them very very slowly indeed. It's not like Sky One and innovation you know - and so we shall not do what some would have done. We'll be more like the Moon Mobile, hovering and never going anywhere. But even more so, here is where we watch all the Anglican UFOs around the world and so our 'Ed Bishop can't be one of those with changeable policies and I'm afraid there is no space in our Church for Gay Ellis. Don't think that voting against it here will derail the whole thing across the Anglican Communion because it won't work like that in causing a situation of chaos and not something we want to do, and it includes Section 4, not excludes Section 4 don't you know. And don't forget our Ed Bishop goes to the Ed Ed Bishop at Moonbase and says come on, this is now an entity which processes its policies internationally so start treating us as one thing not many.

[The vote]

What three laity opposed, one clergy opposed, two clergy abstained? Was the clergy person SID? High up indeed. Ha ha, not any more. I think we might find a leak faster than a Shadair SST about just who they were and we'll be looking at your Church careers. It won't do you any good, defying the proper authorities. What? Well, if there is a leak enquiry we'll just make it a secret, as we are indeed a SHADOwy organisation. Good, well, we have adopted it not subscribed to it or digested it and why did no one invite me to Wakefield?

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