Monday 22 February 2010

Changing Rooms Special

Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: Archbishop, what sort of room design would you want us to use here, for this one-off special revivial?
Anna Ryder Cleavageless: Looking down at what I've not got, can you think of something sexy, enticing, that enhances the palace, the Anglican Communion?
Rowan Tree: I think I am probably looking for something on the lines of a fortified box room for paranoiacs.
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: Bully, I've not done that before, unless you count all my designs in purple with flowing pink fabrics.
Rowan Tree: I approve of purple.
Anna Ryder Cleavageless: I'm thinking then a purple padded cell as soft as breasts. What sort of influence are you considering, Archie?
Rowan Tree: A denial or lack of vision that comes about in a more or less non-society based on approximate self interest, on bureaucratic manipulation, on a sort of Herbert Spencer limited view of Darwinism, of people jockeying for position on a short term basis.
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: And you want this inside Lambeth Palace?
Rowan Tree: I did not say otherwise.
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: This is quite a challenge, a right one hundred and eighty. Could you give us some background to this, where it comes from?
Rowan Tree: As babies are dependent...
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: Quite some background.
Rowan Tree: And we face a screaming environment that could possibly overwhelm and so need the support by which we can reach out and learn. That family support is but a small reflection on what God offers unconditionally. So the baby, unaware of God, depends on the family, and not God, in that God is an adult theoretical construct that children only learn at Sunday School, if they attend at all. Now like the child, the adult receives far more than they process in individualistic pursuit, but what makes them more fully human is the engagement in the otherwise unproductive, the development of the thoughtful and imaginative life from which a greater sense of empathy arises.
Anna Ryder Cleavageless: A bit like doing Changing Rooms: why it was cancelled. I was in some of them, but you just can't get the bras.
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: I'm seeing vertical slashes and horizontal lines.
Rowan Tree: No, I am not saying that you need a religious faith for this enchantment, even if it might produce a reflective Lenten design; in any case, the point about a fortified box room for paranoiacs is that it should negate the enchanting and be the more Weberian depressive.
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: I'm now getting the flow of body fluids, blood and gunge.
Rowan Tree: No, I am not saying that you need a religious faith in terms of, say, Good Friday in this. Desolation may be a part of this but again it is in the short term flow of fairly meaningless individual operations.
Anna Ryder Cleavageless: Soft breast like for me, still. Purple diagonal slashes, lifting and separating.
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: Perhaps rapidly altering pointy light emitting diodes.
Rowan Tree: Could be if not otherwise. I would want to leave it to your discretion.

Three days later.

Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: Keep your hands over your specs, Archbishop, and now remove your hands and open your eyes.
Rowan Tree: I won't start crying. What is it?
Anna Ryder Cleavageless: It is a yack hair padded covered room that is in dayglo orange, a commode in the corner, with the window breezeblocked and whitewashed, with no view but an Anglican Commode logo on it, and the fluorescent light is on all the time.
Rowan Tree: This does seem to be a vision of the visionless. And it represents?
Lawrence Llewelyn Jim Bowen: Well, we read about your and other manipulations of the Anglican Commode, the short term jockeying for position, the individualism involved, and that got us going. The hair all around is your own public image, the lack of vision in a blocked up window with logo instead, the indoor light of the office, the dayglo that would drive anyone mad.
Rowan Tree: I think I will bring in my desk and computer, and work from here. It might even be the place to receive fellow Archbishops.

1 comment:

June Butler said...

I did not say otherwise.

Perfect. Of course, Rowan's meaning could have been conveyed rather more briefly, but then he would spoken clearly.